In my work as a Music Therapist with people living with dementia, I often meet individuals who express a lack of confidence around their own musical ability. “I can’t sing” they might say, or perhaps “I can’t carry a tune”, or even “I’m tone deaf”. Delving a bit deeper, I might find that these people have been on the receiving end of an unkind word or an unwanted opinion from a teacher or family member when they were much younger, triggering self-doubt that has been living rent-free in their head ever since. Sometimes these feelings are expressed by clients themselves, but it is often staff members – carers, nurses, activity co-ordinators – who feel uncertainty and anxiety about getting involved in music activities.
There is growing recognition of the power of music for people with dementia; it can re-ignite memories, improve mood, and encourage moments of real engagement and connection. With this recognition, there may be a temptation to assume that music is best left to the “experts”, especially from those who feel anxious about their own musical capabilities. If this sounds familiar, read on! The aim of this blog post is to encourage you to think about your own relationship with music, and how you can use your own natural musicality to create and support activities in your work in a way which feels comfortable to you. It also includes some practical tips and resources and is written with people working in care homes in mind, but it contains many elements relevant to family carers of people with dementia and other settings too.
Play to your strengths
Some people reading this might feel perfectly comfortable belting out “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on the karaoke machine of a Friday night. For others, that might be your literal worst nightmare – and that is absolutely fine. But have a think about what you do feel comfortable with. If singing isn’t your bag, you could try an activity which involves listening to music, playing percussion instruments, or dance and movement. Or you could use music to enrich another activity. In music therapy we work with the idea that there are lots of different, equally valid ways to take part in a session – whether that be banging on a drum or listening quietly with your eyes closed – and it’s the same here.
Activities to try: Gentle exercise to music (YouTube), listening to themed playlists, music quizzes, themed background music to accompany crafts, sports or cooking.
Be authentic and open
It’s really uncommon to be tone deaf (there is a condition called amusia which affects around 1.5% of the population) but lots of people believe they have limited musical ability. So if you share that you feel insecure about your musical abilities, you will very likely find that you aren’t alone. See if you can talk about this without sounding self-critical, focusing on how you feel rather than making a judgment. For instance, rather than saying “I’m a terrible singer”, you could say “I’m not a very confident singer”. You might find this helps people to open up about their own insecurities and feel supported. Only if you feel comfortable, you could try modelling an attitude of “having a go”, focusing on music and singing for fun, enjoyment and wellbeing rather than as a performance.
Activities to try: Listening to a range of singers with distinctive vocal styles could open up conversations about our own voices. YouTube singalong videos, but provide small instruments or juggling scarves for those who would rather play or dance.
Get personalised
What songs really make you tick? What music do you listen to when you need cheering up, or when you want to remember a particular occasion or a loved one who is not around anymore? Most of us have these special songs or pieces of music which take us back to a certain time or place, connecting us with our past. It’s the same for people with dementia, but these pieces might hold even more significance because cognitive impairment makes it harder to access those memories at will. Discovering personally significant music can be a really meaningful basis for a group or individual activity – and once you’ve discovered someone’s personalised music, it’s available to support them throughout their dementia journey, reinforcing their identity and providing a way to connect.
Activities to try: The Playlist for Life website and the BBC Music Memories website have some great ideas.
Author: Dr Becky Dowson
Dr Becky Dowson qualified as a music therapist in 2012 and works for Chiltern Music Therapy in several care homes in Nottingham and Derbyshire. She is also a researcher at Anglia Ruskin University, with a particular interest in music therapy in dementia care.
